We tend to judge everything. It's the ego's job. It's there to protect us from harm, and to do so, it's programmed to judge. Once used as a defense mechanism, alarming us of a predator trying to kill us, it has now grown into a hyper-vigilant ego, born from suppressed emotions, such as shame, fear and guilt. Thank you society. This article is to help you explore the depths of your soul, so you can feel free to feel and express from a place of humanness knowing that we ALL carry these same underlying emotions.
You just might manifest compassion for self which is to say compassion for others, in a way you never were able to before. I am often asked “How can I better love. Accept. Receive my mother, lover, partner, sibling, friend?” How can I connect with them rather than complain about them?
It begins with ‘How do I see myself'? How do I judge the person staring back at me in the mirror? And where did that begin?
Today we judge everything. Most all judgment is self judgment projected outward, yet we are blind to it. Numb to it. THIS is the Shadow. These are the unresolved, deepest of wounds that keep us in our self inflicted prison. These wounds are what Charles Jung referred to as our shadows, our unresolved emotions and trauma that until we integrate them into our being, will drive us away from ourselves, from others, our success and our joy. It will move us toward disease, disfunction, distress and death.
“The shadow is a term coined by psychologist Carl Jung, and it refers to our deepest wounds. Doing shadow work allows us live from a place of wholeness and expansion. We stop interpreting interactions from the lens of the wounded self.”
When we do SHADOW WORK, we stop labeling things as Good and Bad, because we realize when we do, it's us judging parts of self. This integration of our shadow into our light, makes us whole so we no longer see things as good or bad, it just is. Is a symptom of something originating from our evolution. Birthed from heart or ego, light or shadow. Neither is wrong, however we as a society are imbalanced and at war, starting from within, because we have been taught to suppress emotions other than ‘all good’ for too long, abandoning our shadow rather than integrating it.
So called spiritual communities are at cause for this too, which is a term called ‘spiritual bypassing'. You can't get to peace without doing shadow work. That is to say you can't fix the symptoms without treating the root. Spiritual groups are adopting western medicine's approach to superficially work around the hard $hit so they can just feel the good $hit. Maybe without realizing it, and perhaps from leaders who too live by ‘good vibes only’, it numbs out all emotions other than ‘happy', which is a self fulfilling prophecy recipe for disaster by making it not ok to feel UNLESS it’s ONLY good vibes
I call bull shit
That’s. Not. Possible.
As long as were humans walking this earth, we will feel hurt, anger, shame have been programmed thus way.
The goal is not to walk around letting it take over you. No.
The goal is to listen to those emotions, ALL of them, honor them, sit with them, ask them questions, where do they live inside your body, what memory are they attached to, what age were you…meditate, breathe and give them space
This is learning how to self parent the wounded inner child with the new tools you amass by doing what’s called ‘shadow work’ which is to say being comfortable with being uncomfortable when shit comes up, normalizing them, and being compassionate with them so they felt heard, understood and safe to emerge…no longer living deep inside of you, equivalent to a scared child under the bed, resentful for your abandoning them.
Inevitably, in my experience and opinionated opinion, no amount of positive vibes or NLP or landmark will heal that wounded child within (aka your shadow) running the show.
This is work our society is afraid to touch. Because we were taught it means ‘weakness’
These emotions are children of our future. Within you, they stand to change the world but they can no longer live without you.
They want out.
They show us this by acting out
Where were getting this wrong is we shame them for feeling because we have been taught to do so.
We numb them
We shame them
We tell them they’re stupid
Too (fill in the blank with … what do you tell yourself when you see you in the mirror?)
Of this self abandoning parts
It’s literal self imprisonment
Shame…at its very worst.
And this has been programmed into us
To numb out, cut out, bliss out…
It’s not you it’s what we’ve been taught
Our future will change when we all, one by one wake up to the universal secrets which is this:
The teacher is within you
It’s always been there
And everyone, every thing around you are teachers…
Teaching you something by choosing to observe what you notice.
How do you judge what’s outside of you?
This is the best way to know self and identify what parts we’ve abandoned.
Which times in our lives we choked back the pain rather than spoke our voice.
What age were you when you swallowed your words, fearful of speaking your mind, because you would be going against family or company values, and hence would be rejected.
Resulting in rejection of self.
We sell our soul to stay in tribe.
…so now … where does that fear live inside of you?
What age did you learn rejection?
What grade were you in when you learned to compete?
To cry alone ashamed of tears?
THESE are your teachers.
They are invitations for compassion
At least more of it than most of us have now.
Anything else done in extreme is spiritual bypassing.
Which is to say…chasing the happy, blissful high, using super spiritual means such as celibacy, plant medicine, yoga, orgasmic meditation and others.
Which is not inherently wrong because nothing is ‘wrong’ that’s all opinion ..this is the most important point here. I use these tools myself …
Distinction: It’s only harmful to us, if we use them to escape chronically to the point of addiction.
To run from
To numb out
…parts we are afraid to let out for fear of judgment.
This keeps your wounded child, abandoned and shamed parts of self deep inside your being…poisoning our parts otherwise known as cancer. Disease. Symptoms.
It is now known and scientifically proven that some 90% of disease today is caused by repressed and unresolved emotions.
Caged children within, paralyzed in fear
They become our shadow.
Yet…carry the greatest wisdom of all to unlock the keys to our freedom. Real bliss. And true success beyond being defined by money as our highest value. Likes and follows as measures of our worth.
As I write this I just had this thought: I am writing my own medicine.
Medicine for my inner children and medicine for my people, which is to say for us. We are all the same.
We all shit
We all cry
We all have darkness
A shadow – the ego
And we cannot out run it, but we can out fun it, by including it in the conversation instead of ignoring it. Talk to it, make friends with it, then laugh with it. This saved my life…which is to say, saves me from chronic self judgment.
And has expanded my relationships with everyone, starting from within.
Transformation is not only of the mind. Society today has us addicted to growth in the mind yet much of it ignores the heart and spirit.
Your power is in your ability to feel. Then heal.
Only then will you be real.
No more hiding.
No more masks
You’re unapologetically you because you own your parts that were for so long disowned.
Disowned and attacked parts = auto immune disease (so is this the ‘cure’?)
You’re not alone:
One of the greatest human fears = to be abandoned.
The more we abandon these parts, the more we project abandonment from others. Then act from that space, prove our ego right. Self fulfilling prophecy in the name of righteousness.
We fear being left and hold on to even toxic relationships because this fear is running us.
We ALL feel the same feels and fear the same fears.
It’s not in one.
It’s in ALL of us.
Imagine everyone around you has the same feelings and fears, how does that make you feel?
Less alone hey?
More able to speak about it.
The rainbow unicorn in the room?
The moment you address it the room gets lighter. You get lighter.
Others feel they can trust you
Because you trust you
Take your time to share this with others you intuitively sense are ‘present’ with you. Themselves. Their body.
Those who say they have no fear or have a hard time feeling are numb. They’ve been taught to block it out.
Does life WORK for them?
It depends on how you define ‘work’?
But do they get to live the full spectrum of deep love, connection, presence to this moment because they have too felt the dark emotions, freed them and integrated them?
You can only feel high as willing as you are to feel low. And not react from them yet to internally respond to them
I think they call that bipolar in some clinics ?
The real key to our enlightenment, freedom and joy is to get curious about why we do what we do. Why do I judge? Project? Belittle? Shame? Deflect? Blame? Hide? Yell? Numb? Repeat the same things over and over and wonder why I ‘attract’ those types?
You are the creator
You are your shadow and your light
Your fears and your freedom
Yin and yang
Your thoughts and emotions attract the same that compliment or oppose them. It’s like a game you get to play by asking ‘why did I attract this person’?
How do we Evolve? We save our inner world so we can collectively heal our outer world.
We do that by Integrating fears and shadows into our light as one so that there is no more division.
No more separation
You are me and I am you
I treat you with the loving kindness and compassion I treat myself to
The way I talk to me is what I project outward on to you
This is the journey to love
Starting with self love
And radical self acceptance
We stop resisting.
What we resist persists so the more we shame our shame or fear our fears, the more fuel the ego gets to act out. Killing the ego isn’t the answer, integrating it is.
Sidetracking it with so called spiritual things and good vibes doesn’t make it better. It leaves it under the bed.
The spiritual path does not lead to enlightenment and true freedom without welcoming in the shadow, and truly hearing its fears to resolve them.
Once your inner child feels safe to come out from under your metaphoric bed, life gets more colorful again.
The lights get brighter because you have sat with your dark. And let it be ok.
This is called shadow work and cannot be integrated by stepping around our shadow with constant distractions. Yes even ayahuasca and rape.
It’s the spaces in between that offer the juice.
The medicine is in the moment
In your breathe
You will discover all you’ve ever dreamed here.
I will meet you there
SELF LOVE Innercise – Listen to a love song. And pretend as though it’s a song you wrote to yourself
I wish you would see me
I wish you would love me
I wish you would stop trying to change me
I wish you didn’t run
I with you stayed with me…forever…
I wish you saw these parts I don’t open up to anyone…
Once you open them up to yourself, get vulnerable with you, accept all your parts, you won’t be a prison to outside acceptance.
Because you already are whole, perfect, complete and LOVE
Through my research and experience as a life coach, I have helped clients through this emotional healing approach which has opened up possibilities I have never before seen.
What I most often hear from them is…
“I did 20 years of professional therapy, read countless self help books, took thousands of yoga classes…and what I learned in 2 months working with Diane, integrating Shadow work, helped me see things I didn't realize were still fermenting inside of me. I forgave people I was still angry at, released grudges I was still holding on to, and cleanse not only stagnant energy but also stagnant toxins that served as the final pillar to help me Cleanse my Body, Heal my Hormones and Ignite my life”
This is the DEEP heart work we do in our CHI Hormone Warrior Transformation program, which you can learn more about HERE.
To book a Call with Diane or her team to see if Shadow work is something that will help you self heal, CLICK HERE.